Girls Rule Boys Drool

Dear Readers,
    I would like to talk to you today about the difference between men and women. Now you have probably heard some of this before if you follow various news programs but I would like to give my first hand observation. I was recently at my little nephews basketball game. He is 9 and is in a legal with other boys around his age. On the court next to his game there was a league of girls about the same age. The boys would run up and down the court signaling with various gestures of the hands that they are open to pass or shoot. They really didn’t get overly aggressive unless directly confronted with an attempt to steal the ball from them. Now the girls they would communicate with saying pass the ball or im open. They chased that ball like a $35 flat screen on black Friday. Also seemed to get very offended when any one on either team did something wrong. I say this because this one girl pushed this girl on the other team and was like you aren’t supposed to do that. They almost started fighting right there. Now what im noticing is that aside from the men don’t talk with there mouths they talk with there actions and women are better communicators and more talkative. There has been a shift in the hunter gatherer roles. We seem to be taking on the social culture of a lion pride as a society. Women now run everything from the background. Men sit there with there harem of women not mad unless another male directly comes up and tries to take one of the females right in front of him. Women are becoming more aggressive also the ones emotionally involved in this situation which is a volatile combination. Women are more apt to go get what they want and fight for it while men sit back and wait for some one to bring it to them. Im interested to hear you comments and questions on this subject or other subjects if you have a question I will answer it in my next post.

takemyadviceornot

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Love

Due to recent developments in my personal life I have been giving a lot of thought about who is right for me. Who does God want me to be with? Do people really change for the better? How do you know who you are supposed to be with? A lot of people tell me you just are supposed to know. But I thought I knew I was supposed to be with most of the men I have had significant relationships with, or I wouldn’t have been with them at. There was a man long time ago that I felt something I have never felt this day with anyone else. The things they describe in love songs, I felt like I was dizzy and floating when we kissed. Our relationship was not perfect though. We both made mistakes and I was young. Yet I now have an opportunity to choose this man as the man to be with for the rest of my life. Now if I told you about he most will tell me this is a bad idea, and I am not one to make horribly rash decisions.  I just feel so sure. Should I trust my brain or my heart? But even part of my brain is telling me yes. It’s definitely a risk like any relationship is. He has never intentionally hurt me. What I would tell someone in this situation is if it makes you truly happy go for it. If he shows true signs of change such as going to therapy to get help and truly working on the relationship with you. So I guess I will take my own advice. Are there any deciding factors in who you are supposed to be with? It seems like no one ever picks someone who is logically good for them. Why can’t we ever fall for the one who is good for us? Is that a issue with ourselves or is love supposed to be real and not easy. I am going to admit something if this man is the person I decide to be with I’m scared shitless. The most vulnerable trusting thing you can do is give your whole life to someone else.

The Mythological Creature Quiz | Lifescript.com

The Mythological Creature Quiz | Lifescript.com

Co-Dependancy

We have a epidemic in this country. Women with low self esteem hounding there partner due to there own insecurities. Not letting a man take a leadership role in the relationship then wondering why he wont step up and handle business. On the other end of that they will let the men run over them due to the fact they don’t think they deserve better. They let men beat on them call them names cheat on them lie to them and do anything else you can think of just to be with some one. My favorite quote though I don’t know who said it but its very true “Cant love anyone else til you love yourself.”The reason I find this sooo true is because first of all if some one knows that you don’t even like yourself what reason do they have to like you. I mean you spend the most time with you and you cant find one reason that your like able any intelligent perspective partner will see that as a reason not to persue a future with you.

       So what excactly is co-dependancy you ask? The first meaning for Co dependence in the dictionary is “of pertaining to a relationship in which one person is physically or psychologically addicted as to alcohol or gambling and the other person is psychologically dependant on the first in an unhealthy way.” Now an example of this is a man who completely treats his woman with disregard doesn’t help her doesn’t care for her doesn’t by definition love her but with leave and come back because he is addicted like a drug addict feels he will die if not with her but wont change his ill behavior. Now the woman in this situation stays and excepts him back why? Anyones guess is as good as hers she repeatedly gives him chance after chance after chance just so he can keep doing the same thing. Now he doesn’t make her happy in any way does nothing good for you only hurts her herlife and the people around her she falls into a deep depression wondering why if she is sooooo good to him does he keep doing this to her. Her friends try to help she repeatedly reaches out to people to leave then when the time comes for her to do so she changes her mind. She lets him chase away her friends and in turn ends up chasing away all friends and family herself either from neglecting her other relationships or by simply defending the one she is in and stating they don’t understand and that she loves him and they are just jealous.

       Now most of us have either known someone in this situation, been in this situation, or are currently in this situation. If you are currently in this situation I urge you to get out. It will only get worse. This is a never ending cycle that is destined to fail. If you have been in this situation in the past. I commend you for taking the first step and leaving. Next look online or in the paper find a support group for people that have been abuse, go to counciling, and/or find a support group in person or online for people grieving the loss of a relationship make sure you never get stuck in that situation again. Now if you are the friend of that person im sorry to inform you but there is nothing you can do short of tying them up putting them in your trunk and keeping them hostage forever because as soon as you let them go they are going to be right back with that person. This is a addiction and you should treat it as such. This person cannot be helped unless they want to be helped and they have to annitiate it themselves.

       Now I met your asking yourself as I have asked myself in the age of building a childs self esteem why are so many of these children growing up to be such poor adults. Now what I think is coddling your child does not build self esteem it builds Fo self esteem. Because as soon as they find out they are not the wonder child there parents and teachers told them they were they are going to crash and burn in life. What we need to teach are children is how to survive. Everyone fails and succeeds at one time or another. We have to do what makes us happy. Work for the betterment of the world as a hole and try not to hurt others. Teach your children about relationships. Even if your relationship isn’t the best teach them whats awrong with yours so they don’t make the same mistakes. Don’t act like they shouldn’t know what a relationship is or once they hit 18 they are instantly going to be in a beautilful marriage that’s dillusional. Your child will grow up. Your child will date. Your child will get their heart broken and break others. This will happen. Make sure they are ready for that. Another problem is The statement “we are staying together for the kids”. That sounds dumb. Why so you can show your kids that its ok to be emotionally abused and mistreated. That its ok to be in a unhealthy relationship. NOOOOOO STOP the foolishness.

       Now to my generation I know our parents didn’t teach us diddly squat about relationships. I know most of us come from broken homes or no home or one parent or no parents or what have you. I say its time to rise above. Learn from your parents mistakes. We are doing the same thing or worse to our children stop. Don’t blame this on your parents. Do you really want to be like them? Is it really an excuse to say that’s what my parents did? If your saying that it suggests that you know what they did was wrong.

Death and Family

It seems the only time whole families get together these days is weddings and funerals. Gone are the days of yearly week long family reunions. Young people are more concerned with whats going on in the street then whats going on at home. 
   I have a God mother. She and her family took me in as one of there own. Today my Big mama died. Her name was Helen. She from what I understand was a very strong smart intelligent woman. She lived a long and full life. Now everyone who was never around is popping out like cockroaches in the dark putting there 2 cents in about what they thought of her and what should happen now that she is gone. Some of these people I have never seen the whole time I have known this family. Why is it no one cares until someone dies. I would think it would be more important to be around in life instead of acting like you cared so much now that that person is gone. That person don't care about you showing it now they are in heaven with out a worry or care in Gods arms. What I am saying is appreciate people now today while they are here. Bring food for the living now share meals, tell stories, listen and laugh now. Don't wait til some one dies to get together and share your family history hear those stories from the source. Elderly people are full of inspiration and wisdom better than a Tyler Perry movie can provide.

Why Do I Hate The Phrase "You wanna hang out"

What makes me mad about a guy who is trying to date me saying "lets hang out" is because its lazy for one. Because he doesn't want to put the effort in to taking you out impressing you show you what he has to offer. Showing he can be thoughtful and attentive, that he enjoys the same activities that you do, and lets face it a guy is not gonna date you unless he is sexually attracted to. So if you make him work for it and he complies then that means he enjoys your company and wants to make you happy. win win. Also I think starting out that casual starts out the relationship with a lack of respect. He will feel he can get away with anything and the bar will be set extremely low he will never do anything for you he will think you will be cool just hanging out FOREVER!!!!!
Guys are only gonna do whats expected of them and you will only get the respect you give yourself. If you hold them to this standard it encourages the good ones to step up and the bad ones will fall back. Guys that will make bad boyfriends will never put forward that much effort. They will try to make you feel guilty and say things like "I'm not that kind of guy, I don't do that, stop trying to change me", and you know they are right they aren't the kind of guy you want, and women stop expecting people to change. They may change one day, but I guarantee it Will not be for you. If people do change its for themselves, and that's the only way you can change is for yourself. Don't think that they will suddenly turn into prince charming because he likes you sooooo much the beginning is the time to look for red flags. Don't be scared to tell them what you want. If he isn't up to it good then you know he isn't someone you want in the long run. Why are you worried about some guy not liking you because you want him to treat you like a lady? You should be Happy he showed you that now before you got hurt. So lady's please don't except  a hang out invite til at least after the third date. 3 is the magic number. After that don't let it become a habit he will get too comfortable then take you for granted but that's a discussion for a later date.


TOOTLES!!!!!!!!!!!

Introduction and First Entry

I am writing this blog based on my own experience and opinions. This is mostly based on the fact that Dr. Phil commonly quotes "The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
     My first entry is about online dating, and how fast you should give someone your number. This entry is triggered by once again I gave my number too fast and got a crazy.
    Generally my rule is DO NOT give your number or recieve someone elses in the first 3 days of conversating online with this person. My reasons for this are...

1. Most guys online that ask for your number online right away are unusually persistant. They will text over and over again when you dont answer right away they get extremely agitated. Its very disturbing. If someone gets angry because you take too long to answer a text or dont return calls right way beware these are red flags for controlling and abusive behavior.
2. They are lazy and looking for immediate gratification. They will not be willing to do anything to impress you which will travel over to the relationship in the form of selfishness and definatly wont go out of his way to make you happy.
3. They will just have unusual values, and will argue with you they will put yours down in order to make you feel like you would be lucky if he accepted you. These guys are con-artists of the heart.  

    In conclusion nothing good can come from giving a guy your number online in the first 3 days. Dont fal for lame excuses like the one I always get is "oh im not on here alot and I want to get to know you." Well my answer to that is that its just as easy to check this site as it is to check your email or facebook everyday. Also if they care to get to know you like they say they do then you should expect the effort put forth from him that you deserve. You are Special and deserve to get treated like a Queen.