I Want To Write Again

       I have recently, by recently I mean 20 weeks ago become pregnant with my second child. I have been trying to do all the fun stuff that I didn't get to do with my first child. I had the cast of Sixteen and Pregnant beat by 2 years, which society frowns upon. So along with the fun stuff I joined numerous online mom groups thinking some comradeship  would be great. I was wrong.
       I have joined many different groups all claim to give support and friendship no matter what your opinions or form of child rearing is. The first one was a breast feeding group, and these women were so one sided and against the alternative I didn't even bother to comment on post or give advice. I myself do not care if a women breastfeeds or bottle feeds her baby. I know that breast feeding is best nutritionally, but if its not working for you I feel your baby will be just fine with a bottle. Word of advice do not say anything like this in a breastfeeding group. They will literally treat you like you are about to murder your own child, it's ridiculous.
         Another group I joined which one of the other moms recommended to me after she found out my feelings on the original group. This women argued with me after I was giving one pregnant mom a heads up. Many women in this group where in the practice of letting the pregnancy last until its natural end, which happened to be 42-46 weeks. Now I myself do not like doctors randomly inducing women at 41 to 42 with out medical reason. All I was doing is telling this woman what they will say to her at the hospital about why they dont want her to wait, because this is what she asked. Also informed her of some asshole doctors actually calling cps on there patients for not taking medical advice, so to be careful and ask her doctor plenty of questions to make sure her opinions on child birth and the doctors match up. This other mom went off. I never said any of this is my opinion just reality of society we live in. I guess she was a privileged women who can afford to pay a bunch of people to come to her house for a home birth, and go to natural doctors which are usually not covered by most insurance. Also she tried to tell me that all that was free every where and I had to inform her that where I live I have not found a free doctor, free doula, free midwife, not even a free birthing class. Regardless again this women acted like I just told the other women to jump off a cliff. She could of simply told her of her experience and alternative views on the situation, but instead she thought it best to attack me.
         So these and many other situations inspired me. Since I like to read, state my opinion, give advice, but do not like to argue with people that are mad simply because they do not think the same as me I am blogging again. Additionally I have decided to go back to school, so this is good paper writing practice. I will be finding random news articles, things I find interesting and writing about them. So I hope if anyone reads they will find my blog interesting and informative.

Seriously? a Relationship

Ok I am part of this group on Facebook. Shout out to my leaguers. I asked why don’t serious relationships happen as often these days. I stated but didn’t elaborate 50 years ago it was pretty much a goal. it was just what happened. You grew up you fell in love you got married that’s how it worked. Now marriage strikes fear in the hearts of young people every where. they flash back to nights as a child crying while there parents argued. They think of seeing one there parents move out. they ponder why should I only have sex with one person for the rest of my life. Ok first marriage is hard you have to work at it everyday. You will argue you will wake up in the morning and look at the person next to you and say to yourself is this ugly bitch still here. You think about it everyone still has the same goal in there head. No one wants to be alone. Now for us monogamous types we still strive for that long committed relationship . Even those who say they don’t want it and they just want to sleep around what are they doing? They are trying not to be alone truly not wanting to be with anyone means that you wouldn’t want any one at all no sex no dates no phone calls. If you are still going out there looking for it then you want it. You are scared. You say I don’t want the drama that comes with a relationship. Um then don’t get in a relationship with someone who doesn’t make you happy. Humans have conflict with other humans no matter who they are to you a co worker a parent a friend. Most people that say they don’t want relationships stayed in a bad unhealthy relationship too long. Not every one is right for you actually about 99.9% of the people aren't. When you find one of those o.1 and you make them generally happy and they make you generally happy you see that its all worth the effort. Also there is a argument out there stating we are not chemically made to mate for life. That’s misinformed. In nature there are plenty of examples of creatures who mate for life. Google it this is not the animal planet blog. Now true through out history humans had a long string of polygamy but most of those relationships the man loved one wife and mated with the others but now there is like 10billion people on earth there is no need to spread your seed so stop we are over populated and I don’t want zombies to control our population. Also in recent years men’s sperm count has decreased dramatically. What was low 60 yrs. ago is now considered high. So that disproves that theory right there. Maybe its all just a matter of self control. We live in a society of excess. People who are looked upon as role models have to much money to much sex to much drugs and alcohol its all just too much. They are made to appear like they have it all but really these people we look at as successful are miserable. When they lie in bed by themselves as we all do from time to time and think. the fact is they have no one to love them. No one who cares about them really who wants the best for them. They are shadows of the people they once were. A puppet with the strings being pulled by money and fame. Gone are the days of people just being content. If they were happy they wouldn’t be fucked up all the time. A majority of drug addicts take drugs to escape the pain they call there lives. So how can they be happy with themselves. The human race has had a basic life formula for ever. Why are we now straying from that. Also now that we are every one is more miserable then ever. Even of times and poverty and slavery people where not as stress out as they are now. Suicide, drug use, crime, unwanted children, and disease have sky rocketed. This should show us maybe we should change our way of thinking just a little. I am not saying reverse the positive things we have done. Also this is not saying sex is bad or some rant like that sex is good we were made to do it if we weren't it wouldn’t feel good to us. Also don’t take this as just settle for any one find that one person who you click with and stick with it and have fun finding them.

Girls Rule Boys Drool

Dear Readers,
    I would like to talk to you today about the difference between men and women. Now you have probably heard some of this before if you follow various news programs but I would like to give my first hand observation. I was recently at my little nephews basketball game. He is 9 and is in a legal with other boys around his age. On the court next to his game there was a league of girls about the same age. The boys would run up and down the court signaling with various gestures of the hands that they are open to pass or shoot. They really didn’t get overly aggressive unless directly confronted with an attempt to steal the ball from them. Now the girls they would communicate with saying pass the ball or im open. They chased that ball like a $35 flat screen on black Friday. Also seemed to get very offended when any one on either team did something wrong. I say this because this one girl pushed this girl on the other team and was like you aren’t supposed to do that. They almost started fighting right there. Now what im noticing is that aside from the men don’t talk with there mouths they talk with there actions and women are better communicators and more talkative. There has been a shift in the hunter gatherer roles. We seem to be taking on the social culture of a lion pride as a society. Women now run everything from the background. Men sit there with there harem of women not mad unless another male directly comes up and tries to take one of the females right in front of him. Women are becoming more aggressive also the ones emotionally involved in this situation which is a volatile combination. Women are more apt to go get what they want and fight for it while men sit back and wait for some one to bring it to them. Im interested to hear you comments and questions on this subject or other subjects if you have a question I will answer it in my next post.

takemyadviceornot

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Love

Due to recent developments in my personal life I have been giving a lot of thought about who is right for me. Who does God want me to be with? Do people really change for the better? How do you know who you are supposed to be with? A lot of people tell me you just are supposed to know. But I thought I knew I was supposed to be with most of the men I have had significant relationships with, or I wouldn’t have been with them at. There was a man long time ago that I felt something I have never felt this day with anyone else. The things they describe in love songs, I felt like I was dizzy and floating when we kissed. Our relationship was not perfect though. We both made mistakes and I was young. Yet I now have an opportunity to choose this man as the man to be with for the rest of my life. Now if I told you about he most will tell me this is a bad idea, and I am not one to make horribly rash decisions.  I just feel so sure. Should I trust my brain or my heart? But even part of my brain is telling me yes. It’s definitely a risk like any relationship is. He has never intentionally hurt me. What I would tell someone in this situation is if it makes you truly happy go for it. If he shows true signs of change such as going to therapy to get help and truly working on the relationship with you. So I guess I will take my own advice. Are there any deciding factors in who you are supposed to be with? It seems like no one ever picks someone who is logically good for them. Why can’t we ever fall for the one who is good for us? Is that a issue with ourselves or is love supposed to be real and not easy. I am going to admit something if this man is the person I decide to be with I’m scared shitless. The most vulnerable trusting thing you can do is give your whole life to someone else.

The Mythological Creature Quiz | Lifescript.com

The Mythological Creature Quiz | Lifescript.com

Co-Dependancy

We have a epidemic in this country. Women with low self esteem hounding there partner due to there own insecurities. Not letting a man take a leadership role in the relationship then wondering why he wont step up and handle business. On the other end of that they will let the men run over them due to the fact they don’t think they deserve better. They let men beat on them call them names cheat on them lie to them and do anything else you can think of just to be with some one. My favorite quote though I don’t know who said it but its very true “Cant love anyone else til you love yourself.”The reason I find this sooo true is because first of all if some one knows that you don’t even like yourself what reason do they have to like you. I mean you spend the most time with you and you cant find one reason that your like able any intelligent perspective partner will see that as a reason not to persue a future with you.

       So what excactly is co-dependancy you ask? The first meaning for Co dependence in the dictionary is “of pertaining to a relationship in which one person is physically or psychologically addicted as to alcohol or gambling and the other person is psychologically dependant on the first in an unhealthy way.” Now an example of this is a man who completely treats his woman with disregard doesn’t help her doesn’t care for her doesn’t by definition love her but with leave and come back because he is addicted like a drug addict feels he will die if not with her but wont change his ill behavior. Now the woman in this situation stays and excepts him back why? Anyones guess is as good as hers she repeatedly gives him chance after chance after chance just so he can keep doing the same thing. Now he doesn’t make her happy in any way does nothing good for you only hurts her herlife and the people around her she falls into a deep depression wondering why if she is sooooo good to him does he keep doing this to her. Her friends try to help she repeatedly reaches out to people to leave then when the time comes for her to do so she changes her mind. She lets him chase away her friends and in turn ends up chasing away all friends and family herself either from neglecting her other relationships or by simply defending the one she is in and stating they don’t understand and that she loves him and they are just jealous.

       Now most of us have either known someone in this situation, been in this situation, or are currently in this situation. If you are currently in this situation I urge you to get out. It will only get worse. This is a never ending cycle that is destined to fail. If you have been in this situation in the past. I commend you for taking the first step and leaving. Next look online or in the paper find a support group for people that have been abuse, go to counciling, and/or find a support group in person or online for people grieving the loss of a relationship make sure you never get stuck in that situation again. Now if you are the friend of that person im sorry to inform you but there is nothing you can do short of tying them up putting them in your trunk and keeping them hostage forever because as soon as you let them go they are going to be right back with that person. This is a addiction and you should treat it as such. This person cannot be helped unless they want to be helped and they have to annitiate it themselves.

       Now I met your asking yourself as I have asked myself in the age of building a childs self esteem why are so many of these children growing up to be such poor adults. Now what I think is coddling your child does not build self esteem it builds Fo self esteem. Because as soon as they find out they are not the wonder child there parents and teachers told them they were they are going to crash and burn in life. What we need to teach are children is how to survive. Everyone fails and succeeds at one time or another. We have to do what makes us happy. Work for the betterment of the world as a hole and try not to hurt others. Teach your children about relationships. Even if your relationship isn’t the best teach them whats awrong with yours so they don’t make the same mistakes. Don’t act like they shouldn’t know what a relationship is or once they hit 18 they are instantly going to be in a beautilful marriage that’s dillusional. Your child will grow up. Your child will date. Your child will get their heart broken and break others. This will happen. Make sure they are ready for that. Another problem is The statement “we are staying together for the kids”. That sounds dumb. Why so you can show your kids that its ok to be emotionally abused and mistreated. That its ok to be in a unhealthy relationship. NOOOOOO STOP the foolishness.

       Now to my generation I know our parents didn’t teach us diddly squat about relationships. I know most of us come from broken homes or no home or one parent or no parents or what have you. I say its time to rise above. Learn from your parents mistakes. We are doing the same thing or worse to our children stop. Don’t blame this on your parents. Do you really want to be like them? Is it really an excuse to say that’s what my parents did? If your saying that it suggests that you know what they did was wrong.